Mental health in community service: a personal reflection

It’s one year and some few months since I started my work to build an organization from scratch and work in communities. I’ve worked with communities before but either as an employee or on behalf of someone else. This time is different- I’ve had to work it out myself.
Everything starts as an idea, a vision, shared to others then if possible actualized. I too started off with an idea in my mind which upon being supported, got actualized into an organization working on women, politics and leadership matters.
At the beginning of this week, a connection in the community work sector invited me to a workshop on mental health. It’s suicide prevention week, I was informed- I really didn’t know it was, rather I didn’t think about it.
Every time I’m in a workshop or a gathering of people in the sector, mental health is always a subject of discussion and concern. But, I realize now that I have never been too keen to look at it from a personal perspective. And especially as concern the work I do. Community work puts you on the frontline as a defense for everyone else and their matters at hand. Every day, I wake up thinking about the project, the people I need to connect with, the emails I need to send, the proposals I need to pitch etc.
It is harder when everything is at the beginning. Since I started, it’s been all about building an idea, taking it to the community, coming back to evaluate and see if it’s worth it. In most cases, it’s always taking back to the drawing board and starting over again.
My first community workshop was great, but after evaluation and looking through the mission and vision of the organization, I had to cancel and think again from the beginning.
Such times are tough, especially that all interests involved must be put into consideration. In most cases, they will be in conflict but you will still have to make a decision.
Again, not everything you visualize will be acceptable to the community you intend to serve or even the stakeholders involved. This means that you’ll have to modify until it’s closer to what they want. And you’ll have to modify again when you take it to a different community, and again balance with whichever other interests.
Somehow, you’ll be expected to have everything figured out while in real sense, you might be in doubt yourself and will keep changing your strategy many times before presenting it.
Then count the time passing, the resources spent, the expectant stakeholders, community expecting you to solve the problems they presented to you… the proposal that went unanswered, the emails never responded, the calls that weren’t answered.
Community work makes one to look outside themselves and always think about the next problem to solve. It puts you in a situation that you’ll be caring about everyone else apart from yourself- with the fear of giving an impression of pursuing selfish interests in the work lurking around.
Back to my invitation for the mental health workshop. I politely declined to attend, especially as a facilitator. I sat down and realized that I had nothing to talk about to the young attendants because I’m also not aware of my mental health welfare. Especially in the immediate sense, I felt that I too isn’t really in the right state of mind.. but the passion and drive to achieve the purpose of the idea, is the fulcrum holding everything in place. Because life must go on…
As a reflection, I penned this short write up. Hopefully, I will be deliberate going forward to integrate mental health welfare and awareness in all future programs and get an expert to preside over so that I too, can sit as a learner.